Today’s society has many different views on what is socially acceptable and how you should act. Dating can sometimes feel like a battlefield of expectations, with one person feeling as though they are not getting the respect that they deserve from their significant other, while the other feels as though their rights are being stepped on or disregarded. To make matters worse, there is a plethora of advice out there on how to handle these difficult situations.
Some advice may seem well-intended and helpful, but it can also be misinformed and perpetuate unrealistic ideals and expectations that don’t reflect reality. For example, many people say that you should always be yourself when you’re in a relationship. While it is good advice in theory, this statement neglects the fact that people change over time and grow together with their partner. This is especially true when you’re getting to know someone new for the first time.
The following will discuss some vital dating advice that can help you navigate the expectations of today.
Don’t let the past get you down
Perhaps you have been cheated on in the past or maybe your last relationship ended bitterly. That doesn’t mean that all relationships are destined to fail and that no one will ever love you again. When you hold onto the negativity of the past, it makes it difficult to move forward into a positive future. If possible, try talking about your past experiences with your significant other to give them an idea of where you are coming from.
Chances are they have been through their own negative experiences which you can learn from together. However, both of you can see a life coach. This may seem like an unorthodox method, but it doesn’t hurt to see a professional. The advice that this person has will be informed by years of experience and knowledge in dealing with people in all kinds of relationships. This person will see things from your perspective and see the situation from an objective standpoint. It’s possible that you both may see things in this new point of view which may help to bridge the gap in your relationship.
Reach out first
It is not uncommon for one person to reach out to their partner first. However, if you want a relationship to work it is important that both partners are willing participants. Many people claim that the power needs to be shifted evenly between romantic interests in order for everyone involved to keep their dignity intact. This means allowing your partner the space they need and being sure that they are as invested as you are.
If this is something your partner will not be comfortable with, it might be a good idea to reevaluate the relationship. Shifting the power dynamic can have a corrosive effect on a romantic interest and ultimately lead to resentment if one person feels as though they are being dominated by their partner.
Make a list of qualities you are looking for
Think about what you want – and don’t want – in a partner. Before going on a date, make a list of qualities you are looking for in your ideal mate. Write it down somewhere so you can look at it before deciding whether or not to go on the date. Be honest with yourself, once finished, read through your list. Are all the qualities you listed things you really want? If not, what are some reasons why they would make a good match for you?
Make sure your core values are similar
This is so important and it’s one of the biggest reasons why marriages fail. If you don’t have similar core values, your relationship will most likely fail. This is why some professionals recommend couples work with a Life Coach like the folks at https://www.coaching-online.org/ who can help you uncover the true secrets of self growth. Making sure your core values are similar is the secret key you need in your relationship.
Choose first date activities wisely
You don’t want to put yourself in a situation that could potentially be awkward or uncomfortable. Make sure your first date activities are not only fun but also have some sort of direction so you can gauge compatibility accordingly. First date should be very casual and not expensive or time consuming. This is the opportunity to learn about your date, not to start a family with them.
Hold your social media horses
do not change your relationship status so quickly as it can make you look as if you are desperate to find love. You don’t need a ring on your finger to prove that you are in a relationship, so there is no reason for you to rush online and alter it.
If you have just started going out with someone new, leave the social media changes until later. It may be hard to restrain yourself from wanting to tell everyone about your new love, but it’s for the best.
Don’t feel pressured to follow up or go on a second date
If you don’t feel the same way, let them down easily. You may be nervous or anxious about hurting their feelings, but it’s better to do it sooner rather than later. A lot of people have been left emotionally bruised because they were forced into a second date and didn’t know how to refuse without coming across too harshly.
Communicate about exclusivity
It is important that both people are on the same page with expectations. If you want to keep things casual, make this clear from the beginning. Don’t lead someone on if they’re looking for a serious relationship and end up getting hurt when you don’t reciprocate their feelings of wanting to be exclusive. Exclusive communication in a relationship could mean you both meet up at least once a week, text or talk to each other several times a day and be open about seeing each other.
Stick together
If your relationship is new, this might feel a bit awkward at first. This should come naturally but you may have to push yourselves to spend time together without distraction or other friends around. Doing so will help strengthen the bond between the two of you and create deeper feelings for one another.
Respect your partner
This goes for any relationship, but is especially important if you are dating someone new. You may know what they’re like on a deeper level, however it is typically more difficult to maintain your respect for them when you first start seeing one another. This can stem from negative behavior or actions that were displayed in the past or even their lack of ability to communicate well. Whatever the case may be, we all have bad days and it is important that we don’t let our grumpiness or moodiness show when we’re around our partner. You should not be feeling like you are walking on eggshells all of the time and they must respect your feelings and emotions as well. Try to avoid getting into an argument if you can, as this could damage your developing relationship.
While the art of dating has changed dramatically since our parents’ day, some basics still apply. Yes, it may be a more casual arrangement than in decades past, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put your best foot forward when giving someone a chance. Conclusively, while dating advice might feel superfluous in an age where decisive swipes were influenced by the “yes” or “no” decisions of countless other online daters, it’s still important to put your best foot forward when giving someone a chance. follow this article and get yourself prepared for the next date you go on!